Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

Hi Guys,

I'm struggling atm...

So I think its probably best that I leave the forum, I think I have been here almost two years. I wish you all the best in recovery and moving forward. Thank you for your friendship & support, it meant the world to me.

[Ali11]

Hi @oceangirl, we're sorry to see you go but we'll be here if you ever decide to come back. Please continue to look after yourself in your post-op recovery and talk to someone about your current struggles, we're hoping the best for you. 

[oceangirl]

Thank you @Ali11 

I'm not in a good spot. But hopefully next week I can put things into action for myself. I hope you continue to recovery and do well.

[Teej]

Hey @oceangirl . I’m so sorry you are struggling at the moment. I know I haven’t been there much for you or many other members like I once was. It has nothing to do with you. Last night I was wondering if you are still volunteering in the wildlife park or studying and how your pups are going. It’s not that I don’t think of everyone still but I find it really messy in my brain to give the support I once did. My recovery (if you can call it that) is quite different now than before. For me personally I’ve had to take a big step back and try to spend more time in the outside world. There are still many days I’d rather be foruming though.

I hope you can find the support port that you need. It’s really hard when it hurts to be here more than not, I’ve experienced that before too. It’s up to you what happens next but it’s ok just to take a short break to see if that helps as well. I’ve been thinking about that myself lots lately. 

Thinking of you and hoping things get better again for you. 💜🤗

[oceangirl]

Hey @Teej 

Its ok- I understand. You need to do what is best for you. Its tough in the real world. And I hope you get the support and help you deserve. I do miss overtheedge and I hope whatever she is doing, that she is okay. 

I am not really good at expressing myself. You have always been good at expressing your thoughts on paper. How is your recovery and whats been happening with that- if you don't mind me asking. You're spot on, that I am struggling to be here at present. I've had some tough things happen recently. 

[oceangirl]

Hi again @Teej 

I'm still volunteering at CWS and it has been wonderful. I have stopped studying and I will not be studying anymore. I've had enough of the books. I think there is more to life than to be studying and I find it too stressful. Its time to do new things. 

[Teej]

@oceangirl  it’s kind of tricky to talk about recovery as such mostly because sometimes I don’t feel like I’ve come far. A different medication has helped with the depression and talk therapy is helping try to work out who I am and where to from here. I still rollercoaster but not the extremes I was before. I still experience si but not the strong urges I once had to act on it. It’s been a little over a year since I was last admitted to hospital from an attempt or sh which is the longest time so far. I have stable support now which is so important for me. 

I think overtheedge left. Her profile has gone and is former member now. I know it’s tougher now with not so many of us oldies on as much like before. As the forum has grown its much harder I think to keep track of everyone. There are lots of benefits too because there are lots more friendly members around to get to know but I know that is tricky sometimes too. 

Im really sorry to hear that some tough things have happened recently. 

[Teej]

@oceangirl  Awesome to hear you are still volunteering 😄🦜. I’ve put my books away for now too. I can’t concentrate enough. 

[outlander]

hi @oceangirl

im sorry that you feel the need to leave, perhaps taking a break would be better.
Whatever you decide i support your decision and hope that you continue to see help and support for yourself

[oceangirl]

@Teej  You have probably made more progress but you just can't see the changes yet, I bet others have. I think you're being too hard on yourself. I take my hat off to you. I understand the struggle- its not easy. But I like to think of the positives. I am glad you you have stable support and that is meeting your needs. 

It is hard with the older members not being here and I know overtheedge is a former member. You're right it is hard to keep track of people. I hope I bounce back from recent events and put it behind me. 

Thanks for all your support & friendship.