Don’t know.

[Paperdaisy]

Hey @toodles it sounds like you want to be accepted for who you are and you're not feeling like that is happening right now. I think it can be hard for a partner to understand, sometimes when you are so close, living together etc, sometimes it can become a pressure cooker. Do you have any external supports, like a professional to talk things over? Sorry you're having a hard time right now. Would it be helpful to chat to a SANE counsellor? 1800 187 263. Please take care 💝

[Owlunar]

Hi again @toodles 

I think - to varying degrees - we all prepare a face to meet the faces that we meet - after all - do we really want people to see how vulnerable we really are? I don't.

I live alone and the physical pain I have had for a long time is no secret to me - and I don't show it much when I am around people - still - the people at the pain clinic are professionals and well and truly know - they see right through my persona - I am glad about that.

We all have that need for privacy - I hear you though - you would like to be different in some way - at the same time the habits of years past have become a mask you don't want to remove. It is hard though - I get that the pain you have is not physical. It may not be mental health either - we can't tell and it seems you have really worked it into your whole presentation.

And that hurts.

All the best - I hope you can sort something out. It can be hard to move on when you have been in a relationship for a long time. I get that.

Owlunar

[BPDSurvivor]

@toodles , it sounds like you are not satisfied within. Yes, you have all material things, yet there is a yearning desire for a different type of connection.

Could it be the beginning of depression?

I also had everything like had to offer, yet I was empty inside. Therapy taught me that I needed to 'find' myself and develop a sense of identity. I needed to find what would meaningful for me.