Lived Experience Forum

[Birdofparadise8]

Fair enough I want to make bolognese but this new med is making me so tired and my mum doesn't understand she said just get up and make it. 

Yes, it will be nice to an extent. It's just hard sometimes. We get all up in each other after a few days when it comes to deciding what to do. I don't know how I'll cope with a show Thursday night, football Friday night and racese Saturday, in between cooking at my place. I was exhausted at 11 am this morning, and it's just getting worse. 

It's not fully clean yet. I'm trying to muster some willpower to get it down. They are both at home so they have no clue how clean or messy it will be. 

Olay, could we maybe join and learn together? What hidden object games do you play, and do you have to pay for them? Is it a computer or iPad-type game? @ENKELI 

Life is so exhausting right now. Eh sorry. I'm like a gremlin of sadness. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 no need to apologise, depression can zap you of your energy as it is, then top that off with new meds. I know one med I was on all I wanted to do was sleep all the time.

I know I have to do something about my lack of motivation too, I just don't know what. 

I'm not really into D&D type games to be honest. I pay a monthly subscription for my games, through Big Fish Games.

I know what you mean with your mum. Mine is the same, she doesn't understand that it takes a lot more than just getting up and doing it when you are so tired and you find it hard to just get up.

Did you get to the shop to get the tomatoes?

[Birdofparadise8]

THank you @ENKELI 

Yes, both mixed together isn't helping. 

Hmm, have you got into the army psych yet? 

All good. What are the games you play? I wouldn't mind finding things in a game. Do you know any hidden escape room ones as well? 

Yes, I don't get why parents don't understand. Like today has been such an effort for me. I'm not that hungry, so I'll just cook it tomorrow. That will be my excuse to my mum. I don't want to be sitting around, but this med is making it nearly impossible not to. The funny thing is, though, once it comes to bedtime, I'm more awake all of a sudden before I take my sleep meds. 

Yes, I've got everything I need to cook bolognese. 

Will you join the chat today? @ENKELI 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 if they haven't experienced it, people generally don't understand the difficulties mental illness presents. 

I've tried calling Open Arms (the psych service) but because I don't finish until late the service has been closed. I am going to try during the day and hopefully  be able to get an appointment with someone close to home or work. 

I don't know if I will join chat. I'm using my tablet and it takes forever to type anything. My brother is borrowing my laptop.

Make sure you eat something though, even some toast. You don't want to be getting sick my sweet. Often when I have no energy I'll just do scrambled eggs for dinner.

I don't know of any escape room games, there are plenty of different free games available, just google it. I also like mahjong too.

[Birdofparadise8]

Yeah, that's very true. It's kind of ironic. I remember when I lived at home and tried to talk about my depression to Mum, she said, "How do you know if I've ever been sad or depressed?" I said well, no, I don't know. She just always makes it about herself. She says she wants me to be more open with her, but how can I be more open lol.

Ah, that sucks. What about the guided service with SANE? Or can you find a private psych who does it after hours? 

Oh, okay. That's fair enough. You won't be able to join the chat, but I'll be online if you want to talk. 

Yeah, I'll have some cereal. @ENKELI 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 cereal is good too. What are you having? I always have Weetbix in the pantry and porridge, as well as another cereal. This month it's Special K 😁

I can't afford private sessions long term while I'm paying my mortgage as well as land rates, home, contents and car insurance not to mention health insurance, phone and foxtel etc.

I need new tyres so that will be at least $1200 plus wheel alignment and service. It's never ending being an adult!!

I'm feeling really tired too, it must be contagious lol.

What is it with mums? Mine is the same, I'll start talking to her about something happening with me and she'll turn it to be about her. I'm used to it now but it still peeves me.

I hope the chat helps you princess, it's good to be able to chat with others and hopefully have a laugh.

I think the cold weather might also be affecting my mood. My dad said he suffered from SAD  - Seasonal Affective Disorder - so it's possible it's affecting me too. I inherited depression from him.

All I want to do is snuggle in bed under the blankeys with a book or a movie.

[Birdofparadise8]

Fair enough. I do hope my parents are managing and okay with my sessions. They have to pay all of that like you. I feel sorry for you; that's expensive, tyers. 

Yeah maybe it is lol. 

I know I really don't get what it is with them. 

I know you don't have kids, but if you did, they would be very lucky to have you. 

I hope this isn't weird, but the last time I saw my aunt, I was talking about us and how you see me as your Goddaughter, and I was also talking to her about Mum. She said, it's like you are actually my mum for the emotional stuff because you really understand and support me. 

I'm not sure I can go now. I need to clean. Yeah that is very SAD.

That sounds fun. What movie or book? @ENKELI 

[Birdofparadise8]

I've just watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy, which was a bit triggering, so I'm trying to recalibrate. It gave me thoughts I didn't really want. 

[ENKELI]

@Birdofparadise8 aw sweetie you make my heart sing! That's so lovely to hear. 🫂👑💙💐👸

I considered myself mum to my Godkids because I lived with them and assumed responsibility for them for 8 years. My Godson especially because his mum didn't really bond with him. He always came to me before his mum. Even in the earlier years my Goddaughter would confide in me, like when she got her period she told me before her mum.

I pray that one day we will be able to chat via email or some other way but for now I'm so happy I've come to know you. You are an intelligent and caring young lady and have a great sense of humour. I know you will come through this stronger and a better version of you.

I believe God put you in my life to make up for losing my Godkids 🥰

I've started reading a book called Secret Squirrel Business, A Guide to Mental Health Recovery. It's written by a Perth lady and I was given it when I was in hospital. I'll let you know if it's any good.

[tyme]

We're over in the Live Hangout if you want to join @ENKELI @Birdofparadise8 

https://client.chatwee.com/popout/5fe12dcb78c130638b151232