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Something’s not right

Lonely11
Casual Contributor

Sharing of information

Hi, 

 

I am working as a carer and I notice the child is having issues going to school. She displays unwillingness and is always finding hard for excuse not to be at school. She does not want her mum to know about her issues going school and I face challenges of bringing her to school on time.

 

I hope if there are any carers with similar experiences is willing to share how I could improve the situations.

 

Thanks 

6 REPLIES 6

Re: Sharing of information

Hey there @Lonely11,

Welcome to the forums. I can hear how much care and compassion goes into the work you do. It sounds like you assist this young person to get to school but she shows a lot of unwillingness around going? It sounds like she doesn't want her mum to know... but there could be a risk of colluding with her in not telling her mum about these issues. 

 

Have you had a chat with your manager? eheadspace support young people with mental health issues and those that support them, and could perhaps talk through the situation with you.

 

There are some members on the forums who are professional carers who might be able to relate to what you're going to, and many members are caring about/for someone in their life personally. From your username it sounds like you might be looking for connection here too? Feel free to jump in other threads if you feel comfortable, or to introduce yourself here 🌻

 

Re: Sharing of information

Afternoon tortoiseashell,

The most challenging part of communication is to get the mother to listen and this could only establish only if she wants to.

Last I recall in the past I was met with, her exact words, "mind your own business" when I tried to inform her information with regards to her daughter like "I would like to bring it to your attention that your child might be facing some challenges at school."

I can feel for the child as I am feeling pointless to tell the mum again......unless it concerns safety I will highlight.

At this stage, I can only make it interesting for the child to go school as it was her new school.

Any inputs or ideas would be appreciated

Re: Sharing of information

Wow @Lonely11

 

It sounds like you're a great support for this young person, and you've tried to make her mum aware she could be facing challenges at school. It sounds like now you're focusing on what's in your power to help. Could you give the child the details of eheadspace and Kids Helpline if she has her own phone? They are realy great non-judgmental phone and webchat support services for young people. 

 

@Adge I know you don't work with children, but was wondering if you've ever had these tricky situations come up? No pressure to reply Smiley Happy

Re: Sharing of information

Thanks tortoiseshell, 

 

She is too young to have a phone and her mum does not allow one. I do not wish to give up on her unless I have to as she will give up on school if I do. I am with the family for more than 6 months and the child mentions she gots loads of nanny previously. 

 

She also mentions that she likes me and I think I know why. She knows I did not give up on her like the rest in the past. 

 

For now, I think I am the one who need counselling more than the child as it is getting more challenging each day. 

 

Thanks for the advices though. 

Cheers wendi

 

 

Re: Sharing of information

Hi @Lonely11 I work with adults with disabilities - many of whom display what are called "challenging behaviours" (sometimes aggression & violence).

I have worked with children, although not recently.

What you describe does sound like a delicate & difficult situation for you, not just the child to be in.

You did the best you could, & communicated how the child felt (& the possible school difficulties) to her mother.

Yet you seemed to have been not believed, or met with denial (by her mother).

Yes I have been faced with some similar situations - yet I have never been given anywhere near adequate support, for me to deal with those situation.

My clients frequently refuse to participate in the activity that they are supposedly doing (that day) - my management often will not acknowlege any "non-compliance".

Instead, they often expect me to magically "make the client do it" (without force of course) - Making anyone do something (when they do not want to), is not really possible, & is not the purpose of the activity (in any case).

The resources that @Tortoiseshell suggested, may be helpful.

For those options to work or provide support, your young person needs to be interested & willing to try it (first).

Which is a challenge in itself.

I'm sorry I could not be of more specific help.

I'm thinking about it, racking my brain, as the saying goes....

Adge

Re: Sharing of information

hey @Adge thanks for your awesome insight, you don't have to resolve anything as this sounds like a really tricky situation for people in your field. 

@Lonely11 it's very brave to start thinking about your own support needs, it sounds like you have a challenging role 🌻 

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