New member

[Inga]

@Catlover  

Hi hun...

I know it is the most awful feeling being alone.. If someone could just knock on our door and say 'I am here, lets have a coffee (tea in my case') and talk', it would be so lovely.... does your husband support you.. 

Luv - Inga

[Catlover]

He does and he doesn't.  I know he loves me and he cares for me but he doesn't understand what it is like.  He will not read any literature on my illness and when I have an episode he tends to just let me get on with it.  He can't deal with my extreme and confusing emotions.  Mind you neither can I, they frighten me.

[Inga]

@Catlover  

Hey Hun...

May I ask how old you are.. I have a reason for this..

I do not want to scare you-but : My husband, abusive in a certain way ( who left much to be desiresd ) left due to my illness..  when I was feeling bad he too totally ignored me...

My second husband abused me ... I left him..

Did you move from overseas???

namaste-Ingrid... 

Talk again soon...  

[Catlover]

I'm 50 next week.  We moved from England to New Zealand 15 years ago and we moved here in December.

[pip]

@Catlover. You and hubby are definitely in a catch 22 situation. You find it hard to describe something you don't understand, he can't figure out where you are emotionally. Possibly he refuses to read any literature, because that would make it more real to him. While he doesn't read anything, it's easier to pretend to ignore it. When you have your episode, he becomes the 'ostrich' because that way, he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't know how to do, what to do. Do you know how to care for yourself? I think if you can visit your Dr and see if there's a support group in your area. Often when you're talking to someone with the same illness, they can give you ideas you haven't tried or thought about. Also if you can find a support group, you will get the invites for coffee/socializing that you don't have now. Once hubby sees you getting support and he sees how to support you, he could start helping you more. Trying to explain any sort of MI to someone who has no idea what you're talking about, is like trying to teach a foreign language. I am in the final stages of radiation for breast cancer, through talking to others at the clinic I attend, the support has been tremendous. My ex has no idea, he like your hubby wouldn't have a clue as to how to support me. Perhaps, though unlike my ex, your hubby just needs to be shown. Reading literature can be confusing too, to someone who doesn't fully understand what they're reading. Like assembling furniture, 'x' joins 'y' The problem being where is 'x' and how does it join 'y'? No offense to either of you, but quite often that's the dilemma, trying to explain how and why and what to do.

[Catlover]

Thank you Pip, that helps.  I have not registered with a dr yet, I will do it next week.

[Inga]

@Catlover   

Hey Cat.. Do oyu have cats?? do you have children??

Re: age... I am 63 yrs young....before I get ahead (elaborate ) of myself-are you taking hormones... I meant to ask you in last message...

I do massive research to find help for myself... When did your condition first manifest-need help for..

I personally have not found a group in my area..at the moment I am too ill to look for a group..

namaste-Inga

[Inga]

@Catlover

Hey Cat....

can you write something like what I have just composed..Talking/telling a person is hard.. handing him a written note and asking please read it, he just may...

It may not help, but at least you tried.. it is so simple he may just get it........

Love - Inga

.....................................................................

Everyone on earth -including you-has a brain containing neurotransmitters which govern our whole body….Some people are born physically handicapped or mentally handicapped, blind, no hearing etc.

Some of us are born with the transmitters not sending the right signals for the brain to function as to what is considered "normal"…Instead of sending the signal to the right place, it sends it no-where.. This disrupts how one feels..  It is bloody awful.. I want to tear my brain out, give it a kick and tell it to send the right signals…

BUT I CANNOT…no more than a handicapped person can tell himself to be 'normal'…

Please just love me.. When I am feeling crappy, please just put your arm around me and tell me you are with me…offer me a cup of tea-just something……

You do not understand-you cannot unless you have experienced it- but a simple gesture stops me feeling so alone and unloved…

Please know I do not do it on purpose.. 

[Catlover]

Hi Ingall yes I have cats, my cats know when I'm not feeling right and they love me, I mean they push themselves into my space and make me fee

 safe, or at least there like I exist.

[Catlover]

Yes Ingall

I know what you mean about tearing my brain out but it doesn't work cos you still exist after