Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

[Former-Member]

Happy moments = yay.

Hoping this is the start of a long period of remission @Sophie1  

[outlander]

@Sophie1 🌻🌷💙

[Sophie1]

@outlander @Smc @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @Determined @MDT 

hi All

ive been off grid for a bit woth sooo much going on 

I'm sad to see Darcy has moved on - however I fully understand life phases change and without having seen her recent posts I can only hope she is doing well and supported as she finds a life without MrD and explores what that means .. 

Ok my story since last check in - 

- MsS and finally got married in July after 24 years of living together - we are so happy to be wife and wife at last 

- it was an elopement at registry office in between lockdowns with three friends as witness and a few days stay at the Windsor hotel in melbs .. very special day and we were both over joyed ❤️❤️❤️❤️💍💍💍

- MsS has reduced her bipolar medication to only 3 instead of 7 meds over last few years and removal of the most recent one seems to show hope in increasing functioning and reducing migraines 🤞🤞🤞

- MsS actively attending an outpatient day program at mental health hospital, attending ptsd therapy sessions and psychiatrist appts ..

- and ......

for me ...

- I've been diagnosed two months ago with ADHD

- primarily inattentive with impulsive tendencies

- huge relief as explains sooooo much of my struggles throughout my life

- my older brother and his daughter were diagnosed and urged me to get assessed as it is often genetic

- I'm now on medication and it's AMAZING AMAZING AMAZING

- before meds I felt like my working memory / attention in my Brain had 5 slots and at least 2 of them were randomly channel surfing ALL THE TIME and I did not have the remote control .. so constant random thoughts and impulses and need to speak my thoughts out loud at any time

- this created issues at home abd at work .. constantly interrupting others , not focusing , memory lapses ALL THE TIME as I never took the info in on the first place , inappropriate talking about random topics at random times at work and home abd generally coming across as scattered and unreliable and inappropriate - my friends say oh that's just what you are like - friendly bubbly funny and often dominating conversations 

- however it's very damaging to work and relationships when you can't listen to others properly because of the constant stream of random noise and impulses in your own brain 

- so ... 

- 36 mins after taking first ADHD medication a calm descended through my brain and I got 4.5 of my 5 attention slots back in brain !!! I have the controls for the most part now and I can focus, listen, only have one thing going on in my brain and understand more easily the meaning of long sentences and others speech in general 

[Sophie1]

 cont...

so now I am working with 

- my own psychiatrist who specialises in adult  adhd .. we will continue to refine medication doses types etc .. 

- about to start with adhd coach mid September who can help me use behavioural strategies and educate me in adhd brain workings and how I can improve my life 

- a gym personal trainer when lockdown lifted to get my body in shape as still have hip pains from car accident 

- online support group on Facebook for adult adhd women in Australia to understand more how others live with adhd 

I hope to learn more and become a better version of myself 

I hope to improve my work life and more than ever want to connect more with MsS my wife 🙂 

Although we've been together for so many years I feel disconnected and stuck in my head 95%+++ of the time and I really want to join a shared experience of life and connect with MsS and my family and friends 

im sick of being in my little brain running around like a rat in a spinning wheel in my own thoughts and honestly it's so hard for me to let others in and stop my own spinning wheel to really really feel the other persons presence and spirit abd words .. I feel like I've spent my whole life like stuck in my brain abd peeking out at the world .. I have always felt unable to fully open up to others - not for lack of wanting to but literally can't pull down the defences or turn down the volume of my own brain activities to really feel the connection of the other human being 

anyway I'm not sure where to from here .. 

does anyone know of any good ADHD forums like the Sane equivalent but for Adult adhd ? Or is it even in Sane somewhere some ADHD groups threads or is ADHD not a complex MH issue 🤷‍♀️ @Former-Member  can you advise if Sane is ADHD focused at all or if better off elsewhere ?? 

I want to always be here because since 2014 this community has helped me feel normal as the partner of a woman with bipolar , ptsd, depression, anxiety ... and I will always need this community as my home for that part of my life .. and I want to help others as I get more energy and capacity to do so who have the same challenges re living with partners with such lovely challenges .. however unsure where to go for myself right now 

[Sophie1]

Love my photographer for giving me an anonymous enough pic to share here of our special day ...

We had velvet and brocade jacquard long jackets made and wore silk shirts , black pants and Harley Davidson female biker boots ... the day was perfect and our bouquets even had daphne in them that filled the hotel suite with a wonderful fragrance 🌹❤️💍🍰🥂

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hiya @Sophie1 ..... what an amazing (set of) posts ..... ❣️

I wish you and Mrs S every happiness., and thank you for not only sharing your quantum-leap diagnosis with us, but your very special day also ......

On the Lived Experience side of the forums you will find a community of ADHD-challenged forumites.  I will see if I can find some threads to tag you to.

💐🎉

[Faith-and-Hope]

Okay, I have tagged you to some @Sophie1, and there were more, but it's probably better if you meander around a bit from there using the Search bar and ADHD to browse the content and find connections with others you can relate to.  Some of the threads are older and will re-animate if you post on them, because it will bring them forward on the main Sane page as well, and there may be new forumites here who were looking for the same sort of thread.  It tends to kick off a new round of discussion and connectivity.

Hope that helps ..... 🙂

[MDT]

Hi @Sophie1
Its good to hear from ya and to see so many developments in your world

Thanks for sharing your successes but also your trials
I believe we are always learning from one another in this life.

I am glad to see you have got married as well and congrats on that.

May you continue on thus journey of life in the way you wish.

Good news like this is a rare thing these days with all the stuff going on in the world. A hit of happiness and good news goes down quite well

[Shaz51]

what an amazing (set of) posts . my @Sophie1 

how are you going my awesome friend xx

you can also start a thread on Adult ADHD , please tag me if you do 

[Shaz51]

@Sophie1 😀❤❤