Looking after ourselves
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29-09-2017 07:49 PM
29-09-2017 07:49 PM
Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
I find myself seriously considering alternative ways to find intimacy - with friends or a professional s worker
I feel guilty for thinking of this - however the feelings come back in waves. .. I feel as if I've been repressed intimately for years - I don't want to betray my partners trust ... but I don't want to live a life without physical intimacy - should I talk about this with my partner or not ?
What have others done ? Any advice ? I really feel like I'm in a lose lose situation
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30-09-2017 12:04 AM
30-09-2017 12:04 AM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
'Partner with complex PTSD (intimacy issues)'
After considering Darcys advice and the advice of an escort agency I've decide to discuss it with my partner and her psychiatrists and work together to rebuild intimacy as her meds change over in the next couple of months - loving my partner in all ways possible is my number 1 goal - I will be patient as she goes through a challenging time with her meds and make sure she feels safe and supported ... hopefully the meds don't decrease her libido and we can start over in the intimacy arena ... one kiss at a time !
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30-09-2017 04:19 PM
30-09-2017 04:19 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
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30-09-2017 04:54 PM
30-09-2017 04:54 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
I might need to bow out of this thread without prejudice as I can see that my personal values might be a little bit different from yours and feel a little uncomfortable.
Darcy
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30-09-2017 05:09 PM
30-09-2017 05:09 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
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20-05-2018 07:01 PM
20-05-2018 07:01 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
hello @Mandy1, @Former-Member , how are you today , sending you lots of hugs and hope you are ok xx
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29-07-2018 08:51 PM
29-07-2018 08:51 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
Hi Mandy, I know its been a while but I just signed up and im suffering from something very similer to yourself and wondered how you managed to deal with it and whether you had any advice?
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29-07-2018 10:41 PM
29-07-2018 10:41 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
@original_fake Well it’s been nearly a year and I have to say life took its own path since that post - my partner ended up in a clinic and my priorities were to keep the household going, hold on to my job and support my partner - a tall order ! ESP when I was receiving coronial documents with details of my step fathers tragic death all at the same time ... I held my s$&( together somehow and got through a really difficult past year - my partner is much more functional now but still struggling with med adjustments and not able to work ... I have exhausted myself with a new role at work and been on stress leave with depression and bad thoughts - I am now on a mild dose of an SSRI and trying to rebuild my energy levels and reliability at work so our household can financially survive ... long answer - but my sex drive has not been top of the list when I’m worried about paying the bills - also escorts are expensive ... I may still explore this option down the track out of sheer curiosity. However my desire now is to grow my cuddles with my partner back into a loving intimacy that we both miss and need with each other - it’s hard tho as we have both been unwell and stressed and medicated - so like starting again - in fact just last weekend we spoke about our Sex life and a desire to get it back - we agreed to focus on touching and go slow and see how we go !
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30-07-2018 09:16 AM
30-07-2018 09:16 AM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
Thanks Mandy, This is the first time i have reached out to this platform or any for that matter. Im in a same but different sitaution my wife of 19years suffers from a degenrative tissue dissorder and we cant have kids because of it which we came to deal with but the last 5-6years its really staring to take hold and while we do our best to be affectionate a lot of our time is looking after her and real intimacy isnt really an option and there is a good chance it wont be from here on in. We are working with Physicions and others with a long term plan to manage her pain before she will require some aweful surgery. Ive been tackling with the same things you mentioned but as a male and the stigma attached to an escort and the risks attached with that i just cant bring myself to go down that route. Im not sure if others deal with the same thing but I love my wife and our life its just unfortanute there is a small part missing. thanks for speaking to me it helps just talking about it.
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30-07-2018 10:34 PM
30-07-2018 10:34 PM
Re: Intimacy - when your partner is absent ???
thankyou for sharing - I felt a lot of post ‘reach out’ regret after posting my post initially and worried that somebody might identify me or that I would seem selfish or that I was the only one feeling like this .. and still even feel guilty on and off - but you know what I think now - life isn’t that simple. I feel like if my post helped one other carer who loves and is devoted to caregiving for their partner but wrestles with sexual denial its been worth it - thank you so much for being brave enough to reach out - it’s not easy I know. One thing that helps me is getting a massage once in a while - it’s important to be touched ... all out of wisdom tonite 🙂 sending you all my understanding and hope u will feel normal and find a middle ground that works for you