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21-11-2018 09:42 PM
21-11-2018 09:42 PM
I am not my mind
Hi All,
I am a 41 year old man. I found this place because I've lived with my brain attacking me for a while now - about 7 years I think. Right now it's not good. Still, it's not as bad as it has been, which is something.
I am kind of a manager at work, I have a very busy job (I like to think it's an important one) two kids, a wife, zero time. Get up at 6:30, get ready, get everyone ready, work, come home, dinner, clean jobs, it's 9:30pm. Repeat.
There's no time to myself, and that wouldn't necessarily be a problem if my brain wasn't in overdrive the entire time worrying about how things aren't going well (work, kids, wife, etc) and how I can't get it all done. And I can't. And it's all slipping away, failure is imminent. I can't sleep, I can never catch up, things are coming at me faster than I can solve them. If I work longer the wife is angry so the net gain is zero. Can't win. There are no soft places.
I have been thinking a lot about what I really want to do for the next half of my working life and I'm not sure I want to live like this much more. Of course, I can't NOT do that, we have a billion bills and a mortgage and everyone depends on me. So I'm stuck there. However, it did lead me to these forums. I thought I might try to help other people, if I can, respond to some messages and offer some comfort. I remember what it was like when it was REALLY bad. Not just bad.
Good luck folks, I'm thinking of you.
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22-11-2018 06:44 PM
22-11-2018 06:44 PM
Re: I am not my mind
Hey @IamNotMyMind thanks for this post, it's a really good share and an incredibly relatable piece for many members no doubt. Very glad to hear things have improved slightly.
Have you considered seeing a Counsellor/Psych to provide a bit of a sounding board for some of these stresses? You might be surprised the incredible amount of strategies you can come up with alongside a good practitioner. Also keen to know whether you've opened up to your wife about this at all? Look forward to hearing from you soon.
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23-11-2018 06:09 PM
23-11-2018 06:09 PM
Re: I am not my mind
Welcome to the Forum @IamNotMyMind.
I can relate to some of what you've said (although I've been out of work for 4 years). But the never catching up with everything and that the days just repeat.i think that's why my psychologist has tried to encourage me to join a group or club. To break up the day/week. To do something just for myself. That I can enjoy.
Can you think of an activity that you would like to do? Or maybe something you wanted to try when you were younger?
Just a thought to break up your week and the same old same old.
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06-12-2018 08:52 PM
06-12-2018 08:52 PM
Re: I am not my mind
Sorry I didn't reply on this sooner, I got... busy. One kid having a birthday, all the end of school year stuff is going on, work sent me on a trip for a week. That didn't go down well with the family. 😞
I did see a couple of psychologists 7 or 8 years ago. They were mostly useless. I am sure there are good ones out there, but there's not a lot of sympathy out there for me apparently. I got the impression I should just read the handouts I was given, be a good boy and soldier on. Whatever.
My wife is pretty good about it. She's understanding but if I'm circling the drain for a few days she'll get competetive with me for how much more tired she is than me, etc and she'll get angry with me and then I'm walking on eggshells the whole time. So it's... ok I guess if I'm at least pretending to man up.
Activities I can do? I used to do stuff. I used to gym, play sport, poker nights, play guitar in a band, go out a lot. I don't have time for that now. I'm too tired anyway in my 1 hr of free time before bed.
Enough with the pity party already!
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06-12-2018 10:29 PM
06-12-2018 10:29 PM
Re: I am not my mind
@IamNotMyMind We are all allowed pity parties from time to time
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21-12-2018 11:56 PM
21-12-2018 11:56 PM
Re: I am not my mind
haha, who is gonna attend mine?
Don't think so, things need to get done.
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22-12-2018 06:58 AM
22-12-2018 06:58 AM
Re: I am not my mind
I’m hearing you. Relate to parts of this - yes.
Its never ending wake up, ready for work, come home cook dinner clean up watch an hour if tv off to bed. Wake up during the night. And it sll starts again.
Are you able to give yourself a bit if time for a hobby. I read you used to do things - can you go back to do ine of them. I know it’s difficult. Here’s me suggesting but I can’t even go walking due to no motivation!!!!
how many children do you have? Are they little?
i sense that you feel pressured to do it sll with work and bills and mortgage. That’s hard to sit with. I understand that too.
I agree with the others - finding a good psychologist to help you. And yes some are nit helpful. It took me 4 different psychologist and 8 years later and I have a good psychologist now.
I kniw it’s hard to persevere but it’s worth it.
Hsppy to chst again.