Lived Experience Forum

[tyme]

Hey @EternalFlower , PARC was just what I needed. The inpatient system just didn't work for me, whereas PARCs was voluntary and recovery focused. I found it really helpful, however, from what I've heard now, they've reduce the average stay to 2 weeks instead of the 4 weeks which was the model I had when I was at PARC. 

For me, PARC was a buffer for the 'red flag' periods. If I knew I had a challenging time ahead, I'd have a planned admission into PARC. This was the greatest help.

@PeppyPatti PARCs are Prevention and Recovery Centres. So it's either a step-up or step-down from hospital. So essentially, people stay there voluntarily for a few weeks to work on recovery goals. Each person is assigned a key clinician to work with them throughout the whole process. There are activities each day including psychoeducation groups, exercise groups, walks, craft/art groups, movie nights, trivia sessions, shopping trips, beach visits, coffee, dog walking etc. At the PARC I was at, there was a maximum of 10 people at anyone time. There are staff onsite 24/7, but the psych registrar and psychs are only there in the day time. Night and overnight staff are there too.

I think the greatest help there was connecting with other residents to hear their stories and focus on recovery. 

It's different from inpatient in that at PARCs, you are free to go in and out of the place. You just need to sign in and out. However, when you first go, the psychiatrist may recommend that you don't leave for the first few days - but this is only a recommendation.

In my area, a new PARC has opened up for mothers and their babies! This is WPARC. Totally amazing considering most mothers cannot access support because they have young children at home.

I reckon it would be a place I'd love to work in. Also, it's government funded so there's no cost to the person...

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @tyme @EternalFlower 

Thankyou for this information. Wow ....... which state is this in ? I wonder if it's in WA ? 

I grew up no support, police saying " just sleep in your car tonight, if there were problems at home 🏡 - to read this is very exciting for me to imagine how much more support there is and actually - if I ever get back in hospital - there is a lot more understanding and compassion. 

This part of your message is totally me too - listening to other people - 

Um - on that note - maybe I could ask for some feedback. I have had a carer for two years I saw her but I sacked her as for about 8 months - her actions were getting more aggressive and I was seeing my psychotherapist thinking I was to blame. I worked out, with assistance she was living breathing bpd but refused treatment. Anyway, in the past 3-4 weeks she's been recontacting me and somehow I invited her for lunch near her home which the poor lady has been looking forward to. Like telling me we can just talk about all her problems. So I sent her this text. Are you ok on reading it ? 

 I can't be bothered having lunch with you because I don't want to listen your issues over and over again. I’m not borderline, -  I know exactly who I am… And that won’t change tomorrow or the next day like you that changes you. .  .  It’s too good having this “disorder” so you have something to blame your behavior on, right?
This inbuilt disorder isn't  going to change by itself, and nobody’s gonna do it for you… It’s something you’re actually gonna have to do yourself . Stop giving yourself excuses.
Last week you tell me your changing by seeing a healer. A " healer," will heal you. Yeah, right.
Nobody’s perfect, but come on now… We’re talking about how you are being stressed and acting borderline. I'm not dumb, I can only imagine what you've been saying about Mr Rocker and me. And actually I don't care.Simple cluster B mentality and behavior. You can change. Stop the excuses.
Care about you. Won't put up with your crap. 

................

I'm okay that I was very upfront. I really care about her but I felt she talks about this sad disorder but refuses to get into a course to learn about herself 

I'm also seeing that my partner is a lot more compassionate to other friends and terribly caring to our friends who suffer mental ill health issues. 

Thankyou for reading 

[tyme]

Hey @PeppyPatti ,

Only you know the best approach for this person. It's good to see you stand your ground. I'm a borderline, and I can see how draining it can be for someone to continually put the 'blame' on their condition, but then not do anything about it.

It's really brave of you to put these boundaries in. I think, as a borderline, the boundaries that were set and kept is what brought me comfort, especially knowing that every needs to protect themselves - including you. 

Just stand your ground. You need to look after yourself.

I'm not sure if there are PARCs in WA. I somehow don't think so unless they are named something else.

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @tyme 

I'm sorry, really sorry you have this diagnosis. It's tough for you. 

I love reading your messages too. 

Iv had a major head injury -my brain is nothing sometimes. I'm trying to read a wonderful psychoanalytical book by Daniel Stern but I think I'll need to hire someone to help me write and understand this. Because my confusion +

My tiredness related to head injury is awful. But you gotta take responsibility.it took me until I was about 42 and with my ex husband' urging that I addressed my behaviour. It was and is so tough. 

My ex husband is awesome how he says that schizophrenia is his superpower and intelligence and wisdom and friendship is something I cling onto. 

I really really miss this lady. I so wish she is in my life but - boundaries time. 

[tyme]

To be honest, be a borderline is pretty awesome @PeppyPatti .

I'm so glad I have it. And since I've done so much of the hard work, BPD doesn't stop me living at all! It's truly such an awesome life. That's why I totally get it when the person blames BPD, when really, BPD recovery if very possible - if the person wants to.

In a way, I feel it's one of the few MH conditions where the person has the choice to recover...

I'm not saying recovery was easy, but I've learnt so much from it.

Of course there have been rough patches, but it's about riding those waves and being accountable for our own actions. We cannot just say "Oh, I flew off the handle because of my BPD". Yes, anger and rages can come with BPD, but then the person needs to consider, "How do I help myself?"

My life is so full and so incredible. I wouldn't exchange it for anything 🙂

[Shaz51]

Way to go my @tyme 🥰

You are awesome :ok_hand: 

[Doldip15]

Hello @tyme 

i think you’re amazing being able to say what you did- let alone set boundaries like this!

congratulations! I was never able to be so forcibly direct! I have to be polite and non challenging! Scared to death of peoples responses really but it somehow works in any face to face interaction! 
Good on you though! 
Re: Good Morning! 

@Eternal

@tyme 

[EternalFlower]

hi @PeppyPatti its okay to set boundaries and can help everyone, agree with @tyme 

there was a time that having BPD meant people couldn't get good treatment - but now this is good treatment for that

I dont know what my diagnosis is, i was told not BPD, but i am constantly living in fear of abandonment, and get stressed when people vanish and assume they hate me - gd forbid - usually they're just busy

its taking a lot to just wrap my head around that

i agree having BPD is a good quality in many people and doesn't need to be feared.
I also agree you can heal and recover completely.

[PeppyPatti]

Dearest @EternalFlower 

Thankyou for your message. 

Thankyou for your thoughts. Yes, I get that fear of abandonment. 

Iv personally have this dream extraordinary that my 3 brothers will love and adore me and each other. Last week, it came tumbling down - much sadness. 

Abandonment. 

I remember at highschool I was rejected by my school friends. At 13 years old - I fell into associating with a group of artists in Rockeby Road, in Subiaco and started being taught how to blow glass and make stained glass windows. I made stained glass window jewellery boxes and twisted Glass earrings. So I discovered this art - which became what I did after school. It stopped my hatred of highschool and the bullying became bearable. 

All those girls still are entitled silly Billie's. 

All that fear of rejection I masked by these wonderful and creative teachings. 

 

@tyme  What is a community lead? I just am so impressed with you that you can speak like you do. 

It personally makes me feel wonderful as I see Mr Rocker become so compassionate to his friends who have been pushed to the sidelines because of not having your ownership. I can see that he is becaomeing more compassionate because Mr Buddha, his best friend is vocal in speaking that his schizophrenia is his superpower. 

I wish there was more humans like you. You come out as a very very interesting person. 

X

[Lila3]

@EternalFlower & @PeppyPatti the PARC model sounds stellar. There needs to be safe/ therapeutic inpatient options for BPD. In my acute illness phase, 20 years ago- it was emergency inpatient admission, then out on the streets the following day.

I did have one 2 week inpatient stay at a Queensland facility. It was much needed at the time. Safety & containment!